by Joshua Marshall, LMFT, LCDC
In reflection of the mental health landscape over the last ten years, it feels as though, here in 2021, we are lightyears ahead of where we were in 2011 in our quest to promote mental health awareness and end the stigma surrounding mental illness.
With the rise in social media platforms and social media usage over the last decade, we have seen these platforms serve as social megaphones, reaching more people on a daily, hourly, and minute basis than we could have previously comprehended. Mental health observances such as Mental Health Awareness Month (May) & Suicide Prevention Awareness Month (September) have been widely publicized and movements such as #OkayToSay and #EndTheStigma have reached millions upon millions of people, providing resources, support, and education regarding mental illness to those who may never have known otherwise.
We have also seen a significant increase in celebrities, musicians, and athletes utilizing their platforms to become mental health advocates and sharing about their own struggles with mental illness. It has been an incredible decade for mental health advocates, as awareness is on the rise and the efforts to destigmatize mental illness seem to be at an all-time high.
Even in the midst of all of this great work that is being done, the fact remains that people are continuing to struggle and the stigma surrounding mental illness is still very much strong and alive. Not to be lost in all of this, is the fact that men are struggling, and they are struggling in significant ways.
A case could be made that the stigma around mental illness is a driving factor in the data that is reported regarding men’s mental health. So, what is this “stigma” that I keep referencing?
Stigma can be defined as “a mark of disgrace associated with a particular circumstance, quality, or person.” In the simplest of ways, the stigma that we are working to abolish is that of mental illness meaning something is wrong with you, that it is something to be feared, or that struggling with mental illness a sign of weakness.
Ending the stigma is simply normalizing conversation, normalizing asking questions, and normalizing asking for help regarding mental illness.
Here are some of the alarming numbers surrounding men’s mental health:
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A report by Mental Health America states that 6 million men are affected by depression each year, and this is with expected underreporting.
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Men are four times more likely to die from suicide compared to women, with one man taking his life every 20 minutes.
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Men are 2 to 3 times more likely to misuse drugs than women.
This is just a small sample of a larger picture relating to the issues that men face with their mental health.
These alarming numbers are packaged together under the umbrella that, of the men who report experiencing mental illness/distress/issues (which again, is often underreported), only 25-50% speak to a mental health professional or seek treatment for what they are experiencing.
Why do men not seek treatment?
There are plenty of reasons why men might shy away from seeking help.
The machismo “grin and bear it” culture that many men have been raised in contributes to much of the internalizing that takes place when men encounter mental distress. Rather than identifying and confronting the depression or anxiety when it comes up, or talking to someone about what they are experiencing, men will traditionally turn to maladaptive coping behaviors in attempts to manage what they are feeling.
A perceived limited emotional vocabulary or grasp of emotional awareness is another deterrent from men seeking treatment. The notion of traditional talk therapy is daunting to many, but especially so for the man who feels like he is not in-tune with his emotions. This is a common thought and belief for many men and the fear of looking uneducated or feeling inadequate when discussing emotional matters is enough to keep them on the therapeutic sideline.
Yet another reason why men can shy away from seeking help is a presumed lack of adequate, or comfortable, resources. This is incredibly true as it relates to minority populations where it can be particularly challenging to find culturally competent services.
How can we continue to de-stigmatize mental illness in men?
To state it again, ending the stigma is simply normalizing conversation, normalizing asking questions, and normalizing asking for help regarding mental illness. And there are three simple ways that we can collectively work towards this.
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Shine more light on the issue.
When you turn on a flashlight in a dark room, the darkness still covers much of the room, but our focus always goes towards the light. Mental illness is not going away, so we cannot just sit around and act like it’s not there until tragedy happens.
Shining light on this issue means continuing to grow social awareness of what mental illness looks like, educating on what resources look like at both the local and national level, and making it normal and acceptable to ask for help. There is little-to-no hesitation for the man who has a broken leg to go to the hospital to get help, and the goal is for the same lack of hesitation to be exercised when a man is experiencing mental distress. Simply put, the more light we shine on this topic, the more men are going to be positively affected by it.
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Have conversations and have them often.
“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself.” – Hermoine Granger; JK Rowling – Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone.
As a Harry Potter fanatic and a mental health advocate myself, I have loved this line since the first time I heard it because it encapsulates why the stigma surrounding mental illness has the power it does. We can de-stigmatize mental illness by not shying away from having meaningful conversations with the men in our lives.
This goes beyond just asking how someone is doing and accepting the reluctant “fine” that we so often receive. Asking more in-depth open-ended questions is a good starting point as broad questions promote broad answers. Specific questions promote specific answers. And on the flip side, encouraging men to ask questions as well works in the same vein. The more conversations that are had, the more comfortable we become with a topic and the more opportunity there is for growth and vulnerability.
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Men must go first.
As a man myself, I do believe this to be the most difficult but also the most impactful way we de-stigmatize mental illness in men. This is in no way intended diminish the impact that a woman can have in a man’s life in any way, but men need men to step up in their lives.
In the same way many men have idolized John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, and John Rambo as the models of masculinity, men need to have other men be a model for them in emotional masculinity.
Models who are not afraid to talk about their struggles with mental illness. Models who can show there is strength in vulnerability. Models who can talk about their struggles and share about how they are overcoming those struggles. Models like Dak Prescott, quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys.
In April of 2020, he lost his older brother to suicide. In the middle of the coronavirus pandemic, when we were all told we had to isolate to keep from spreading the virus, he had to deal with the loss of his brother, alone.
He would later speak out to the national media about the scary places his own depression took him to in those moments where he was grieving and isolated, a place many men find themselves at one point or another. The courageous vulnerability Dak modeled in the national spotlight was met with resounding support from other athletes, celebrities, and fans alike.
And even though most men do not have the national exposure and influence Dak Prescott has, we all possess the same ability to be outspoken, transparent, and unashamed about our mental health.
https://mhanational.org/infographic-mental-health-men
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6199432/#bibr52-1557988318785549/
https://www.healthline.com/health-news/how-can-we-reduce-mens-mental-health-stigma